Tips on surviving in a new place!

So I’ve had a lot going on recently. But in summary I’ve had a big house move and the starting of a new job in a completely new region. Essentially walking away from all the familiar things in my life. *INSERT INTERNAL FREAKOUT HERE*

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The freakout

I’m writing this blog post at the very start of all of that because I won’t be able to relate to  this in a few weeks time so whilst it’s fresh in my head and I’m living it, I’m writing about it.

Moving to a new region is HUGE especially when it’s far away from family and friends so I’m gonna share some of my top tips with you all.

1 -My biggest tip would be be ok with not being OK. Freakout are allowed. I left a place that I had just about become relatively settled in for an area I knew nothing about and where I knew nobody. What the hell had I done?! I think normalising that thinking is really helpful. Trying to cover it up or force yourself to be OK when you’re really not isn’t helpful. Those feelings won’t go by burying them and burying them makes them harder to deal with.

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Going home my first weekend and surprising my Mum with flowers

2- Get some perspective. Or try to. Chances are you’ve moved away for a great reason. For me it was getting into my dream speciality albeit it my not first choice location. Yes there are things that aren’t ideal but how incredibly lucky I am to be doing a job that I LOVE, get in my first year of applying (which lots of people don’t) and be the youngest person in my year of training. There are people who have the exact same move as me to a different country. Or with children they’ve had to move to a different school. It’s a move, it’s really not that deep.

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3-Keep some sort of routine. When so many things are changing it’s important to hold onto some of continuum. Those things that make you happy, keep doing them. For me it’s going to the gym, talking to my family, meditating, praying, eating well, making sure my eyebrows don’t let the rest of my face down. Whatever it is for you, keep doing it. It’s important anyway but when everything is changing it’s essential.

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Loving my daily meditations from Headspace

4-Use your team. Remember that time when your friend called you crying at 2am because the guy she was in love with got married and you spoke to her for hours. Well this is your time to do that kind of stuff if you need it. I had friends and family offer to come and stay with me and my whatsap was popping with “just making sure you’re ok, let me know if you need anything”. Don’t be too proud to ask for help when you need it. Sometimes a phone call makes all the difference. Whatever you need take it! If you’ve been a good friend to someone else they will have no problem with repaying the favour and would be happy to (if they’re a good friend). Pick your friends wisely so when you go through something hard in life they do overtime for you, I’m very very grateful for mine. If you’re on that team and reading this THANK YOU!

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Basically

5- Don’t go it alone. Chances are if you’ve moved to a new area for work there will be other people in the same boat as you. Talk to them! My sister gave me very strict instructions “don’t be antisocial, make effort with people” and it was effort for me. I already felt like I had my friends and didn’t particularly want any more but you need to make an effort with people. You might not meet a new best friend but having someone close by you can hang out with or go to the gym with is important. And part of that process is being open with people and making an effort.

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Dinner with new friends

6- If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend its whole life thinking its stupid. Equally if you’re in London and you judge it by its lack of beaches you will think it is rubbish. Not every location has everything. Don’t look at is for what it doesn’t have, look at it for what it does. It might sound like a small thing but a small change in perspective can change everything. I don’t have a Zara close to me (I’m slowly getting over this) and my bank balance can breath a sigh of relief, but I do have some of the most beautiful beaches in England a short drive away. What a shame to focus on what is “missing” instead of focusing on what I have around me.

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Not to shabby for an after work walk

7- Go home. This might sound counter intuitive but for me it was so helpful. In the first week of my move I was doing great. Until Thursday. Then I had a little (massive) freakout and wanted to run home so I did. The drive was long but I didn’t care. I was home the whole weekend and planned nothing which is SO not like me but it was exactly what I needed. A little home comfort and some words of encouragement to pick me back up again.

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Halfway home break

8- Give it time. No one settles into a new place in a week so give it time and patient with the place and yourself.

9- Communication is key. Friends and family might be far away but technology is amazing. As I’m typing this I’m also FaceTiming my sister who is folding clothes and talking to her children. I’m not with her, but she feels pretty close. Pick up the phone or use FaceTime.

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Weekend cuddles with my Lana banana

10- I think my last tip would be nothing is the end of the world and there is noting that can’t be undone. If you’re miserable in a place for months (which I doubt will be the case) you can always reevaluate things. There are always options but at the start just give it a chance and go with the flow.

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Mantra for this month: “just keep swimming”

 

If you’ve made it this far, well done! Hope it was helpful.

Until the next post!

Salma.

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